Sunday, April 8, 2012


It has been a while since I posted anything to this blog. Real life has a way of being more immediate and demanding. In these challenging times finding a job is a job in itself! Getting a new job is a blessing, yaay me!! Luckily, those things happened to me near the end of 2011, and my energies shifted to my real-life transition from freelance fitness professional to HR professional (again) with health insurance.

Pursuing your dreams can be a good thing, heck; pursuing your dreams can be a great thing! Especially when you can make a living at what you pursue. Not just surviving, mind you, but thriving! Increasing! Living well! And should you discover you cannot have all the things you’d like to have pursuing your dreams; I reckon it’s better to have this knowledge going forward than not to know, to always wonder what if. I believe I will post more about this later.

The topic of this post is not changes in profession or what can happen when you pursue your dreams.

The topic for this post is: The Rise of the Singletons.

People change. Countries changes. Societies change. Census takers track change by enumerating people. To give the information meaning, the census takers not only count people, they also gather data about people through various descriptions, age, gender, homeowner, education and yes, race. One change being tracked county to country is the number of single people. Specifically, the growing number of single people in western-styled societies.

The distribution of households from 1980 to 2009 show an increase in people living alone.

2006 Canada = 26.8%

2005 Japan = 29.5%

2005 France = 32.8%

2008 Germany = 39.4%

2008 Sweden = 48.1%

2008 United Kingdom = 30.0%

The percentage do not include single parent households; these are households with one person living in them. The US 2010 Census indicates one-person households make up 24.9% of all US households.

I cite this information not as a cudgel or an indictment of single women, rather as a statement of fact. A quarter of adults in this country live by themselves. Some of these people like living alone; some hate not having someone to share their home and lives with; some want desperately to be married; some want be married but are not so desperate; some don’t want to be married; some don’t ever want to be married again the permutations are endless.

I started this blog with an eye towards fleshing out my ideas with regard to empowering myself, challenging myself to think differently, and a space to process what I was reading on other BWE blogs. I learned a great deal from the first wave bloggers Sara, Evia CW, Rev. Lisa, Khadija (she’s written a few new posts, you might want to wander by both of her blogs), and a few others. I was challenged by what I read, sometimes annoyed, but mostly enriched. BWE blogs asked us to consider wider options for ourselves in our thought patterns, living circumstances, dating, marriage, etc. The conversation about dating/marrying men of different colors/cultures/countries resonated with me and with so many other women; for those of us who had already considered this a viable option, the blogs served as affirmation.

I fully support any woman who decides to expand her dating pool and consider men who are loving, supportive, protective and about providing a good life for his family. Not being coupled, about all I can do with respect to marriage and couple hood is to advocate for and to black women to open their minds and engage the rainbow.

My single self cannot tell anyone about being married.

I can however tell you about being SINGLE and living well!

I can discuss my thoughts and experiences as a single, straight, introverted, vaguely awkward, nerd-lady (because I have lived long enough to be one), who lives in the South in a ridiculously ‘red’ state.

While my topics may not focus on dating or marriage, I believe what I cover will engage single ladies who are looking/working to be coupled - and those single ladies who are just living their lives and enjoying what life brings.

No, I am not anti-marriage, but I have hopped off the matri-mania treadmill I put myself on a couple of years ago. I am done worrying about why I am not married; instead, I am focusing on living the best life I can. And if, in my travels (outside of the South, apparently) I meet an interesting fellow…cool. If not, also cool.

I am fortunate! I love my life! And I want to the same for you!

Peace & Love

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