Sunday, December 5, 2010

A Good Man – A Reel Life Example….

How does a man know when he’s a man? How does a woman discern the difference between a ‘real’ man and a playboy, slacker, thug, perpetual teen-ager, pimp or similar man of no (low) value? I was reading a blog where this question was being addressed by men offering comments describing what they thought made a man, in fact, a man. Just what are the attributes, behaviors, and characteristics that distinguish a man from a boy?

In general appearance, a beard and big muscles, was ruled out as a symbol of manhood. What most of the men commenting on the post mentioned were things such as establishing and adhering to a set of core values; keeping your word; controlling your tempering; readily rendering assistance – going out of your way to help women, children and old people; controlling your tongue; doing good daily; being able to build/fix/create/accomplish something with your hands/mind/body; and being confident.   

H/T to The Art of Manliness at

Julie and Julia

I recently watched ‘Julie and Julia’, the 2009 movie about Julie Powell challenging herself to cook every recipe in Julia Child’s Mastering the Art of French Cooking. The narrative of the movie is split between Julia Child finding herself and her calling after she moves with her husband to France and Julie Powell finding her writing Muse as she documents her one year odyssey in French cuisine.

I will not comment on the health consequences of cooking with so much butter, consuming cream-based sauces or the lack of regard for calorie consumption. The food looked gorgeous! This observation comes from a vegetarian/mostly-vegan/raw food wanna-be!  LOL  The food, however, is not the point. The point is the relationship between Julia and Paul Child.

Julia and Paul

While not the stereotypical Alpha-male, Paul Child was a man any mature, self-reflective woman would love to have in her life. Paul Child behaved the way a principled, honorable man behaves. He adored Julia, treasured her, supported and encouraged her. Even though she was older (late thirties) when they married and she did not resemble the popular version of beauty at the time. Julia’s husband wanted her to be happy and indulged her pursuits in trying to find ‘something to do’ while she made a home for him during his various overseas assignments, remember, this is the late 1940’s early 1950’s. In the movie, Paul is attracted to Julia romantically, intellectually and physically. Paul is patient with Julia, protective of her, and is present for her. Paul is her champion! Paul is Julia’s rock; her foundation.

And she loves him! She is sure to make time for him; she is on his side; she stands by him. Julia loves his mind and his sophisticated palate (she loved to cook for him). Julia thinks Paul is wonderful and tells him so! She doesn’t berate or belittle him when circumstances with his job changes.

The feminine in her always responds to the masculine in him. They complimented each other.

Real World Application

Most women want a man of high value. Most women want a man who loves her, protects her, values her, and provides for her and her children.

And there is nothing wrong with that! Don’t let anyone make you wrong for desiring a man who can provide, protect and support you! I believe a woman should always be able to support herself when circumstances require her to do so. Education and a good job are paramount. But it is every real man’s duty to provide resources for his wife. It is every real woman’s job to utilize the resources wisely.

In the real world situations will arise in which the wife might be the sole breadwinner on a temporary basis, however, the husband must be in the hunt for the next employment opportunity, not sitting at home or in a bar (strip club), or over to a friends house, or pursing potential hook-ups while the wife is at work.

Ummmm?!?! Heck to the no way!!!

Only real men need apply….reference the above for examples.