Those of us paying attention can see the writing on the wall. Mass media would like to make 2010 the year of ‘Black Women’s Pathology.
Their mission: Convince black women they are unlovable, undeserving and unworthy of respect, protection, and loving/healthy relationships.
Who benefits: People profiting from black women’s confusion, fear and low self-esteem.
The question for us is how many of us will fall for the whole black-women-it-sucks-to-be-you meme. How many of us will buy-in, believe, and internalize this creation? How many of us will cooperate, repeat and negatively react to this fiction?
Our mission: Don’t believe the hype; dismiss the media and the profits of doom (yes I know how to spell prophets……but you get the point….right?); focus on how to improve your/our brand.
Who benefits: Black women.
What am I Doing?
In 2010 I will continue to:
Reject all attempts to pathologize me, marginalize me, demonize me, and minimize me.
Refuse to patronize movies or purchase books engaging in any of the above and which portray black women as pathological, hypersexual, undesirable, etc.
Refuse to watch (not that I have cable or satellite anyway) media ‘reports’ on the state of black women –you know- black-women-it-sucks-to-be-you stories.
Refuse to internalize foolishness, drama, and lies reported by, repeated by, and generated by the media, celebrities, ‘reality’ television, or the internetz.
Pledge know myself, honor myself, love myself, and respect myself.
Invest time in self-reflection, self-study and self-love.
Take positive steps to change what is not working for me (i.e. being open to moving to a different part of the city, country, world to find a mate – if a committed relationship is desired).
Affirm being single is not a disease, disaster, or death sentence.
If black women believe this myth is true; it will persist. If black women support it, internalize it and repeat it without critical thought; it will persist. I say we resist!
Resistance can take many forms:
Resist feeling less beautiful.
Resist feeling unlovable.
Resist the expectation/command to save everybody.
Resist the expectation/command to meet everyone else’s needs.
Resist the belief a piece of man is better than no man.
Resist feeling sorry for yourself if you are not in a relationship.
Resist feeling like it’s your fault.
Resist lowest-common-denominator behavior
Resist the mindset that you don’t have the right to a set of non-negotiables.
Resist! Resist! Resist!