Sunday, June 21, 2009

Who's to Blame?

It’s not his fault, it’s just his preference:

He prefers a slender body type.

He wants a woman who knows how to be a woman.

He prefers to be in charge in the relationship.

He prefers a woman who doesn’t criticize him.

He prefers a woman who is a ‘10’.

He prefers a woman who cooks his meals.

He likes it when a woman treats a man like a man.

He likes a woman who is always supportive of him.

He likes a woman who is not materialistic.

He wants a woman to accept him just the way he is.

From what I’ve read recently these are just some of the preferences of black men have with regard to relationships.

Which gives me pause, because…..if black women are constantly being told to “stop being so picky” or “put away your list of demands” and “you should just settle if you want a relationship”; then why aren’t men being told the same thing?

Is it just me, or isn’t the above mentioned list……well…..a list??

If black women have to give up some percentage of their list to have a relationship, then shouldn’t black men give up an equal percentage?

Well, some men will say, black women have superficial lists.


All black women.

In the U.S.


With the cloud of blame raining down the mountainside into the valley of black womenhood, black women may wonder what is the answer?

Buy more umbrellas? Build bigger boats?


My suggestion. Migrate to another valley.

If, in all your wonderfulness, a man fails to check off all (or even most) of the items on his list (superficial or otherwise)….then keep it moving!!!

Do not. I repeat. Do not stand out in the rain trying to convince, cajole or persuade this guy you are the one for him.

I read somewhere (I really need to stop reading this dude’s blog) that since men will give an attractive women a chance…at sex, she really needs to drop her standards otherwise she will miss out on some decent guys.

*eyes blinking in a bewildered fashion*

Let me get this straight. Women. Need to drop their standards. So that a dud will give her a chance. To have sex with him.

*a really long pause*

(And yes I know I typed ‘dud’, I figured it was a Freudian typo so I left it alone)

Not a chance at a committed relationship or marriage.

Not a chance at seriously seeing where a relationship might go.


You might have a chance at sex.

Is that all women should expect?


My main point: Flee quickly from any man who does not desire to be equally yoked; equally involved; work equally as hard; be as equally committed and be as equally faithful in his interactions with you.

R. E. S. P. E. C. T. rhymes with




CW said...

I am glad that more Black women are getting it...Walk away from that type of hypocrisy~!

Southland Diva said...

Hello CW!!

Welcome!(happily waving)

I read your blog are an inspiration! Thank you so much for stopping by.